I guess this goes back to the other discussion about what makes a person who they are - just giving birth, taking care of Alex, and loving her, makes her her mother in my book. I accept that you don't agree.
She took care of Alex for what, like a day? Yeah, sorry, that's not enough in my book.
note: Anyway, you can't be telling me that Alex doesn't get to fix her mother; isn't there some kind of nondisclosure agreement for betas? :P Or, if she does fix her, she's a different person than when she was a cat (although she retains that transformative ability.)
Hey, all I've read is the fourth book; it's not like I know. ;) But considering Inverarity's habits when it comes to plot, I think it's highly likely Hecate's never coming back.
Sorry to hear that. Just to be clear, I was referring to the human relationship part, I was kidding. :)
Oh. Oops. Eh heh...heh.
Average good or average all others? It's the difference between being average as a student in preschool, and being an average student in PhD Philosophy at Harvard.
Then average all others.
When you say someone is an average mother, imo it's not enough that she doesn't abuse the kid and provides a physically safe environment so that they survive childhood with most limbs intact and minimal trauma. Such a kid will still have lots of problems. An average good mother, imho, is involved with her kids' lives, and doesn't just ignore unpleasant issues. She may not handle them perfectly well, but she doesn't neglect them either.
I agree with you. I don't mean average on any kind of objective scale; I mean average compared with all the others. As I said, there are a lot of bad mothers out there, far worse than Claudia.
I hope this is not frustrating you, as I recognize that my instinct in this area is pretty strong, so there's really no purpose arguing it. For example, the conversation over dinner in this chapter really got on my nerves (as much as I admired Inverarity's execution.) I consider Claudia a poor mother, perhaps she did her best but it wasn't good enough. It may not have been her fault - being a bad mother doesn't mean she's a bad person - but she's not a good mother, even an average good mother.
I tend to give Claudia a lot more leeway than most people, I think. It's important to remember that we only see her and Archie through Alex's point of view, and being a parent of a kid like Alexandra is not easy at the best of times. Claudia certainly does not handle everything perfectly, but given all the circumstances I think she overall does an OK job.
Given a choice between biological children and adoptive, or just one?
I don't understand the question.
Looking at a few paragraphs from your later post:
While I do think that a biological bond plus an emotional bond can be stronger than a purely emotional bond, I also think it is stronger than a purely biological bond. These bonds influence each other, as we know from epigenetics that environment can influence one's biology as well.
I agree that an emotional bond is far more important than a biological bond. I think that not having that biological bond can be a weakness in a parent-child relationship, especially when you are talking about teenage years when the best of parents struggle with their kids.
Well I don't think this is something we'll ever come to an agreement on, but I have to say I just plain disagree with this. I think it's entirely possible for an adoptive child to be just as loved as the most-loved biological child--yes, even in their teenage years. And I definitely think it's wrong to think of the lack of a biological bond as a "problem."
Not to say there aren't some unique issues with adoptive children, including deciding when and how to tell them they're adopted. But again, I just don't want to say to an adopted child "Sorry, but your relationship with your parent is inherently lacking in some fashion." Not that you'd ever say that of course...but I feel that's the logical consequence of your position.
Re: tealterror
She took care of Alex for what, like a day? Yeah, sorry, that's not enough in my book.
note: Anyway, you can't be telling me that Alex doesn't get to fix her mother; isn't there some kind of nondisclosure agreement for betas? :P
Or, if she does fix her, she's a different person than when she was a cat (although she retains that transformative ability.)
Hey, all I've read is the fourth book; it's not like I know. ;) But considering Inverarity's habits when it comes to plot, I think it's highly likely Hecate's never coming back.
Sorry to hear that. Just to be clear, I was referring to the human relationship part, I was kidding. :)
Oh. Oops. Eh heh...heh.
Average good or average all others?
It's the difference between being average as a student in preschool, and being an average student in PhD Philosophy at Harvard.
Then average all others.
When you say someone is an average mother, imo it's not enough that she doesn't abuse the kid and provides a physically safe environment so that they survive childhood with most limbs intact and minimal trauma. Such a kid will still have lots of problems. An average good mother, imho, is involved with her kids' lives, and doesn't just ignore unpleasant issues. She may not handle them perfectly well, but she doesn't neglect them either.
I agree with you. I don't mean average on any kind of objective scale; I mean average compared with all the others. As I said, there are a lot of bad mothers out there, far worse than Claudia.
I hope this is not frustrating you, as I recognize that my instinct in this area is pretty strong, so there's really no purpose arguing it. For example, the conversation over dinner in this chapter really got on my nerves (as much as I admired Inverarity's execution.) I consider Claudia a poor mother, perhaps she did her best but it wasn't good enough. It may not have been her fault - being a bad mother doesn't mean she's a bad person - but she's not a good mother, even an average good mother.
I tend to give Claudia a lot more leeway than most people, I think. It's important to remember that we only see her and Archie through Alex's point of view, and being a parent of a kid like Alexandra is not easy at the best of times. Claudia certainly does not handle everything perfectly, but given all the circumstances I think she overall does an OK job.
Given a choice between biological children and adoptive, or just one?
I don't understand the question.
Looking at a few paragraphs from your later post:
While I do think that a biological bond plus an emotional bond can be stronger than a purely emotional bond, I also think it is stronger than a purely biological bond. These bonds influence each other, as we know from epigenetics that environment can influence one's biology as well.
I agree that an emotional bond is far more important than a biological bond. I think that not having that biological bond can be a weakness in a parent-child relationship, especially when you are talking about teenage years when the best of parents struggle with their kids.
Well I don't think this is something we'll ever come to an agreement on, but I have to say I just plain disagree with this. I think it's entirely possible for an adoptive child to be just as loved as the most-loved biological child--yes, even in their teenage years. And I definitely think it's wrong to think of the lack of a biological bond as a "problem."
Not to say there aren't some unique issues with adoptive children, including deciding when and how to tell them they're adopted. But again, I just don't want to say to an adopted child "Sorry, but your relationship with your parent is inherently lacking in some fashion." Not that you'd ever say that of course...but I feel that's the logical consequence of your position.