What determines a person's reaction to Claudia? I think it's largely a matter of personal experience. These things are set early in life, and its hard for someone raised in a less connected family to understand why someone raised in a more emotionally expressive family doesn't get their sense of family.
I wouldn't say I was raised in a "less connected family." I had one very good parent and one very bad parent--so I think I saw something close to the full range of parenthood, as it were. Claudia isn't a good mother, but trust me, she's nowhere near being a bad mother. (And I wasn't physically/sexually abused, so I'm not talking about that--that kind of thing is just on a whole different scale. :/)
What I meant to say: If someone has one biological and one adopted child, I am not sure that they will have an equal relationship. Maybe they will. My instinct is that they won't. Maybe I'm wrong. I'm sure it depends on the individual.
(the above is my way of awkwardly ducking out of a debate)
Lol. Given we do have a cultural bias toward biological parenthood, it's likely that in the majority of cases the relationship won't be equal. But that's not an inherent thing; it's the product of the culture. Edit: IMO, at least.
But pretending the child isn't adopted shows that there is insecurity in the parent's part about their mothership, if they can't face the truth.
I agree. If I ever adopt a child I intend to let the child know they're adopted as soon as possible (assuming they don't already know).
And admitting the child is adopted is opening the door to a LOT of internal conflict as the kid gets older, and that conflict is only going to settle once the kid accepts both parents in some way - which is usually done by adopted kids finding out what happened to their bio parents.
Perhaps, but I don't think that internal conflict is inevitable. Certainly plenty of adopted children want to know their biological parent, but I'm not sure if that's an instinctual thing or because, again, we have a cultural assumption in favor of biological parenthood.
I think it wouldn't be as easy as being your parents' bio kid, either way.
I dunno about that. It's never easy being someone's kid, bio or not. ;)
Why does my opinion bother you so much?
Hmmm...that's an interesting question. I am not myself adopted, nor do I know anyone who is--so this debate is hypothetical for me as well.
After a relatively short bout of self-analysis, I'd say it's because of my beliefs regarding love, and perhaps emotions in general. Lots of people seem to think of love as some sort of overwhelming force that you have no choice but to get swept up into. But I think that you can choose to love or not to love, and indeed, a chosen love is much more likely to last and be real than a non-chosen one. And it's hard to find a better example of chosen love than adopting a child.
Plus, it does get annoying that foster children in fiction almost always seem to have angst about it, lol.
Do understand, I've never thought about this in this way or put it into these words before, so I may very well be missing the point completely.
Re: tealterror
I wouldn't say I was raised in a "less connected family." I had one very good parent and one very bad parent--so I think I saw something close to the full range of parenthood, as it were. Claudia isn't a good mother, but trust me, she's nowhere near being a bad mother. (And I wasn't physically/sexually abused, so I'm not talking about that--that kind of thing is just on a whole different scale. :/)
What I meant to say: If someone has one biological and one adopted child, I am not sure that they will have an equal relationship. Maybe they will. My instinct is that they won't. Maybe I'm wrong. I'm sure it depends on the individual.
(the above is my way of awkwardly ducking out of a debate)
Lol. Given we do have a cultural bias toward biological parenthood, it's likely that in the majority of cases the relationship won't be equal. But that's not an inherent thing; it's the product of the culture. Edit: IMO, at least.
But pretending the child isn't adopted shows that there is insecurity in the parent's part about their mothership, if they can't face the truth.
I agree. If I ever adopt a child I intend to let the child know they're adopted as soon as possible (assuming they don't already know).
And admitting the child is adopted is opening the door to a LOT of internal conflict as the kid gets older, and that conflict is only going to settle once the kid accepts both parents in some way - which is usually done by adopted kids finding out what happened to their bio parents.
Perhaps, but I don't think that internal conflict is inevitable. Certainly plenty of adopted children want to know their biological parent, but I'm not sure if that's an instinctual thing or because, again, we have a cultural assumption in favor of biological parenthood.
I think it wouldn't be as easy as being your parents' bio kid, either way.
I dunno about that. It's never easy being someone's kid, bio or not. ;)
Why does my opinion bother you so much?
Hmmm...that's an interesting question. I am not myself adopted, nor do I know anyone who is--so this debate is hypothetical for me as well.
After a relatively short bout of self-analysis, I'd say it's because of my beliefs regarding love, and perhaps emotions in general. Lots of people seem to think of love as some sort of overwhelming force that you have no choice but to get swept up into. But I think that you can choose to love or not to love, and indeed, a chosen love is much more likely to last and be real than a non-chosen one. And it's hard to find a better example of chosen love than adopting a child.
Plus, it does get annoying that foster children in fiction almost always seem to have angst about it, lol.
Do understand, I've never thought about this in this way or put it into these words before, so I may very well be missing the point completely.