I'm of two minds. I know that micro-aggressions and bigotry can make you less likely to be nice, but I also have to believe that reasonable and civil conversation can be angry and hostile, and still remain civil and reasonable.
As a Jewish person, I understand that living in a Christian culture often means getting mico and macro aggressions. Micro-aggressions is one person having a long Christmas post, but saying my Purim post is shoving my religion in people's face. Macro-Aggressions is someone saying to my face that the Holocaust happened because the Jews killed Jesus and that Jews deserve persecution. Her words.
In both times, I was angry, but I was not screaming "YOU ARE A GIANT TURD AND A COCKSTAIN" which is a direct quote from ACM. Because what's the point of that? It just makes me look unhinged. It feels good, but addressing their actions or shutting down the train of abuse is more productive.
"How could you say something so bigoted?"
And the tone argument was used. "Stop being so defensive," said the macro-aggressor.
And I said "I am defensive because your words were cruel and you attacked me verbally. That is unacceptable and I am done with your rudeness and bigotry."
I'm not trying to be the Good Jew, but had I lost it, I'd have had everyone entertained by my rage. But who would take me seriously?
A huge problem I have is it because it's all SO HEATED, I have no idea where to take her concerns seriously and when she's just being snarky. It's all sounds the same to me. If she's just venting, great. But it's hard to take venting as anything profound.
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As a Jewish person, I understand that living in a Christian culture often means getting mico and macro aggressions. Micro-aggressions is one person having a long Christmas post, but saying my Purim post is shoving my religion in people's face. Macro-Aggressions is someone saying to my face that the Holocaust happened because the Jews killed Jesus and that Jews deserve persecution. Her words.
In both times, I was angry, but I was not screaming "YOU ARE A GIANT TURD AND A COCKSTAIN" which is a direct quote from ACM. Because what's the point of that? It just makes me look unhinged. It feels good, but addressing their actions or shutting down the train of abuse is more productive.
"How could you say something so bigoted?"
And the tone argument was used. "Stop being so defensive," said the macro-aggressor.
And I said "I am defensive because your words were cruel and you attacked me verbally. That is unacceptable and I am done with your rudeness and bigotry."
I'm not trying to be the Good Jew, but had I lost it, I'd have had everyone entertained by my rage. But who would take me seriously?
A huge problem I have is it because it's all SO HEATED, I have no idea where to take her concerns seriously and when she's just being snarky. It's all sounds the same to me. If she's just venting, great. But it's hard to take venting as anything profound.