So I left this nice, long, scene-by-scene review of chapter 20...and then fanfiction.net ate it. So yeah, didn't really feel like writing the entire thing out again. >_>
I'll post an actual ff.net review later (mostly to assuage my perfectionist tendencies), but for now, these were the major points: 1) Another great chapter, no real complaints. 2) Good job showing that Diana Grimm is not incompetent, and also humanizing her a little. I still think it would do her good to apologize for destroying an expensive broom for no good reason, but I suppose she was never meant to be particularly likable anyway. 3) The hag scene at the station felt kinda pointless--more of a means to get Alex to angst than anything else. But maybe I'm wrong and it'll come up again in the future. I hope so, at any rate. 4) Enjoyed the scene in the train, particularly because we got to see more of Angelique and got to, well, see Dylan actually do stuff (he had been introduced before, but we knew basically nothing about him other than that he's David's roommate). 5) Liked the Alex/Anna reconciliation scene, though it's clear there are still a bunch of unresolved issues in that relationship. That's a good thing, though--character conflict like that shouldn't be dropped lightly. 6) The ball was awesome. First because of all the Ship Tease (I count Alex/Torvald, Alex/Anna, and Alex/Larry, though I'm slightly disappointed we got no Alex/David). And second, because Abraham showed us once again that, while the Confederation may be incredibly corrupt, he ain't exactly a beacon of light either. Casting the Imperius Curse on a teenager just to deliver a message to his daughter is...effective, I'll give it that much. Evil, but certainly effective. 7) Anna has a crush on Alex. I had suspected this for a while, but the subtext practically became text in the chapter. I counted at least three hints--and while most of them have easy alternate explanations, there are very few ways to take Anna wanting to dance with Alex at a ball.
The second half of the book is shaping up great. Looking forward to chapter 21! :D
Chapter 20 Review
So I left this nice, long, scene-by-scene review of chapter 20...and then fanfiction.net ate it. So yeah, didn't really feel like writing the entire thing out again. >_>
I'll post an actual ff.net review later (mostly to assuage my perfectionist tendencies), but for now, these were the major points:
1) Another great chapter, no real complaints.
2) Good job showing that Diana Grimm is not incompetent, and also humanizing her a little. I still think it would do her good to apologize for destroying an expensive broom for no good reason, but I suppose she was never meant to be particularly likable anyway.
3) The hag scene at the station felt kinda pointless--more of a means to get Alex to angst than anything else. But maybe I'm wrong and it'll come up again in the future. I hope so, at any rate.
4) Enjoyed the scene in the train, particularly because we got to see more of Angelique and got to, well, see Dylan actually do stuff (he had been introduced before, but we knew basically nothing about him other than that he's David's roommate).
5) Liked the Alex/Anna reconciliation scene, though it's clear there are still a bunch of unresolved issues in that relationship. That's a good thing, though--character conflict like that shouldn't be dropped lightly.
6) The ball was awesome. First because of all the Ship Tease (I count Alex/Torvald, Alex/Anna, and Alex/Larry, though I'm slightly disappointed we got no Alex/David). And second, because Abraham showed us once again that, while the Confederation may be incredibly corrupt, he ain't exactly a beacon of light either. Casting the Imperius Curse on a teenager just to deliver a message to his daughter is...effective, I'll give it that much. Evil, but certainly effective.
7) Anna has a crush on Alex.
I had suspected this for a while, but the subtext practically became text in the chapter. I counted at least three hints--and while most of them have easy alternate explanations, there are very few ways to take Anna wanting to dance with Alex at a ball.
The second half of the book is shaping up great. Looking forward to chapter 21! :D