Author rambling and writing angst: Trying to finish a novel

So as I work my way through a rereading of Alexandra Quick and the Thorn Circle (Chapter 8 is coming, but jeez, it's over 12,000 words!), I am still working on my SF novel.

You know how I am always going on about how I have plot holes I am trying to figure out a way around? I have now written almost 79,000 words of my novel, and I'm nearing the climax. And my writing has been at a crawl for the last few weeks, because I am trying to sort out all the plot complications and a smooth resolution to everything, and I am... just... &**%#@!!.... stuck! Like, I know there is a way out of this. I always figure out a way, even if it means going back to do a bit of rewriting.

But I am unhappy when my fan fiction has a bit of a hand-wavey feel to it, and fan fiction readers are pretty forgiving. I'm not saying I care less about the quality of my fan fiction than I do about this novel, but it has to be something that will pass the less lenient standards of agents, publishers, and Amazon book reviewers, ya know? So I have to be convinced that it's solid, even before I'd think about sending it out for critique.

And I am really good at seeing plot holes. Sometimes plot holes that other people say don't exist.

So, today, instead of flicking back and forth between an open document (that sits there mocking me because I haven't done much more than rearrange a few sentences) and the ever-luring endless abyss of the Internet (I seriously need to figure out a way to discipline myself to write on a computer with no Internet access), I did something I rarely do except at the beginning stage of my writing projects, and sat down to try outlining the rest of the book.

There are basically two kinds of writers: outliners and improvisers (or "seat-of-the-pantsers"). Outliners are good at working out the details of their plot before they even start writing. Some work up a very, very thorough outline that details every last character and plot twist before they even start writing. I once saw Vernor Vinge's outline for A Fire Upon the Deep and was in awe — it looked like source code for an operating system. Others are a bit looser, and use the outline just as a framework, to be freely changed and added to or ignored.

Stephen King, on the other hand, is notoriously a seat-of-the-pantser. He begins with an idea, and then just starts typing, and by his own admission, halfway through the book he usually still has no idea how it will end. (One might argue that this shows in his endings.)

I am a bit of a hybrid. I find outlines useful to get started, but then I mostly ignore them. But I have often found that when I am stuck, sitting down to outline again helps me a great deal. So why don't I do it more often? I don't know! Probably the same reason I can't unplug my router while writing so that I don't keep getting distracted by the !@%*&#$^%! Internet.

So anyway, I think I have kinda sorta worked out the end of my book, though I know it will undergo changes and improvisations and "Oh shit, wait a minute, I forgot about..."

I really, really want to bring this one to completion. Not just so I can start on AQATWA (yeah, yeah) but because it will be the first time I've finished something (theoretically) publishable. And I can go on to the next stage, which is revising, then getting mean, nasty brutal critiques from other writers, and then trying to query and all that, and maybe getting all my silly delusions about being publishable shattered. 'Cause like I've said before, it's one thing to know you're better than most fan fiction writers and think maybe you're good enough be published, and another to actually prove it.

I am also periodically assailed by other doubts besides just those concerning my writing ability. My book is nothing like what's currently hot in the SF or YA market. It will probably be labeled as YA even though I haven't explicitly written it as a YA novel. I don't know if there is a market for it. So I'm already jumping past "Everyone I submit it to rejects it" and wondering if I'll just trunk it or shrug and put it up on Smashwords and Amazon, figuring that even if self-publishing is the last refuge of the unpublishable, at least a few people might read it. I mean, let's be real, I have no expectations that I will make money with this book. Even if it gets published by a major publisher, the odds of it being a bestseller are teeny-teeny-tiny-infinitesimal. Now, being published by a real publisher would mean I'll make some money, but definitely not quit-your-day-job money. So it really is about love of writing and wanting to be read.

(Although, y'know, money would be nice...)

I have set a firm upper bound of 100K words for the first draft. This isn't fan fiction where you can just say "Oh, 240K words? No problem, people will mostly read it serially anyway." A debut novel (especially a YA debut novel) cannot get away with being over 100K words unless your prose drips rainbows and Krugerrands. 100K words is long for YA. So I'm assuming my first draft will have to be pared down, which means an absolute maximum of 100K words as a starting point is a must.

Anyway, must... buckle... down and get this MF finished.

Yeah, writing this post was yet another way to distract myself.

Author rambling and writing angst: Trying to finish a novel

So as I work my way through a rereading of Alexandra Quick and the Thorn Circle (Chapter 8 is coming, but jeez, it's over 12,000 words!), I am still working on my SF novel.

You know how I am always going on about how I have plot holes I am trying to figure out a way around? I have now written almost 79,000 words of my novel, and I'm nearing the climax. And my writing has been at a crawl for the last few weeks, because I am trying to sort out all the plot complications and a smooth resolution to everything, and I am... just... &**%#@!!.... stuck! Like, I know there is a way out of this. I always figure out a way, even if it means going back to do a bit of rewriting.

But I am unhappy when my fan fiction has a bit of a hand-wavey feel to it, and fan fiction readers are pretty forgiving. I'm not saying I care less about the quality of my fan fiction than I do about this novel, but it has to be something that will pass the less lenient standards of agents, publishers, and Amazon book reviewers, ya know? So I have to be convinced that it's solid, even before I'd think about sending it out for critique.

And I am really good at seeing plot holes. Sometimes plot holes that other people say don't exist.

So, today, instead of flicking back and forth between an open document (that sits there mocking me because I haven't done much more than rearrange a few sentences) and the ever-luring endless abyss of the Internet (I seriously need to figure out a way to discipline myself to write on a computer with no Internet access), I did something I rarely do except at the beginning stage of my writing projects, and sat down to try outlining the rest of the book.

There are basically two kinds of writers: outliners and improvisers (or "seat-of-the-pantsers"). Outliners are good at working out the details of their plot before they even start writing. Some work up a very, very thorough outline that details every last character and plot twist before they even start writing. I once saw Vernor Vinge's outline for A Fire Upon the Deep and was in awe — it looked like source code for an operating system. Others are a bit looser, and use the outline just as a framework, to be freely changed and added to or ignored.

Stephen King, on the other hand, is notoriously a seat-of-the-pantser. He begins with an idea, and then just starts typing, and by his own admission, halfway through the book he usually still has no idea how it will end. (One might argue that this shows in his endings.)

I am a bit of a hybrid. I find outlines useful to get started, but then I mostly ignore them. But I have often found that when I am stuck, sitting down to outline again helps me a great deal. So why don't I do it more often? I don't know! Probably the same reason I can't unplug my router while writing so that I don't keep getting distracted by the !@%*&#$^%! Internet.

So anyway, I think I have kinda sorta worked out the end of my book, though I know it will undergo changes and improvisations and "Oh shit, wait a minute, I forgot about..."

I really, really want to bring this one to completion. Not just so I can start on AQATWA (yeah, yeah) but because it will be the first time I've finished something (theoretically) publishable. And I can go on to the next stage, which is revising, then getting mean, nasty brutal critiques from other writers, and then trying to query and all that, and maybe getting all my silly delusions about being publishable shattered. 'Cause like I've said before, it's one thing to know you're better than most fan fiction writers and think maybe you're good enough be published, and another to actually prove it.

I am also periodically assailed by other doubts besides just those concerning my writing ability. My book is nothing like what's currently hot in the SF or YA market. It will probably be labeled as YA even though I haven't explicitly written it as a YA novel. I don't know if there is a market for it. So I'm already jumping past "Everyone I submit it to rejects it" and wondering if I'll just trunk it or shrug and put it up on Smashwords and Amazon, figuring that even if self-publishing is the last refuge of the unpublishable, at least a few people might read it. I mean, let's be real, I have no expectations that I will make money with this book. Even if it gets published by a major publisher, the odds of it being a bestseller are teeny-teeny-tiny-infinitesimal. Now, being published by a real publisher would mean I'll make some money, but definitely not quit-your-day-job money. So it really is about love of writing and wanting to be read.

(Although, y'know, money would be nice...)

I have set a firm upper bound of 100K words for the first draft. This isn't fan fiction where you can just say "Oh, 240K words? No problem, people will mostly read it serially anyway." A debut novel (especially a YA debut novel) cannot get away with being over 100K words unless your prose drips rainbows and Krugerrands. 100K words is long for YA. So I'm assuming my first draft will have to be pared down, which means an absolute maximum of 100K words as a starting point is a must.

Anyway, must... buckle... down and get this MF finished.

Yeah, writing this post was yet another way to distract myself.

Conspiratorial Spam

Also...

Does anyone know what's up with all the socks posting links to a YouTube video about a CIA plot to kill the Prime Minister of Portugal in 1980? It must be Spam Your Conspiracy Day or something.

Conspiratorial Spam

Also...

Does anyone know what's up with all the socks posting links to a YouTube video about a CIA plot to kill the Prime Minister of Portugal in 1980? It must be Spam Your Conspiracy Day or something.

Go Go 囲碁! So I can beat someone who has no idea what they're doing

I have started going to the local go club. The club president is an amateur 4-dan. I've played a couple of games with him. He gives me a 9-stone handicap and then utterly destroys me. I've played a couple of games against a 6-kyu player, each time with a 6-stone handicap, and lost both of those (mostly due to making stupid errors).

So today there were a bunch of new players, and the president asked me to teach one of them.

Who me, teach? Okay. So one of the newbies was the older sister of that 12-year-old kid. She already knew how to play, she just didn't have much experience. Her brother told me to give her 9 stones. I was like... o...O Have you seen me play?

So, we played and against a 9-stone handicap, and even after pointing out to her a few times when she made some serious errors and letting her take back some moves, I beat her pretty soundly.

Lest the feat of beating a total beginner with a 9-stone handicap sound too impressive, the rest of the club was gathered around us as we finished our game, and then they pointed out all the places that I should have not just beaten her, but utterly and completely destroyed her if I'd even been paying attention, and places where I would have lost entire corners if she'd known what she was doing.

Go is a long, hard learning curve. She and her brother will probably be cleaning me off the board in a few months.

Go Go 囲碁! So I can beat someone who has no idea what they're doing

I have started going to the local go club. The club president is an amateur 4-dan. I've played a couple of games with him. He gives me a 9-stone handicap and then utterly destroys me. I've played a couple of games against a 6-kyu player, each time with a 6-stone handicap, and lost both of those (mostly due to making stupid errors).

So today there were a bunch of new players, and the president asked me to teach one of them.

Who me, teach? Okay. So one of the newbies was the older sister of that 12-year-old kid. She already knew how to play, she just didn't have much experience. Her brother told me to give her 9 stones. I was like... o...O Have you seen me play?

So, we played and against a 9-stone handicap, and even after pointing out to her a few times when she made some serious errors and letting her take back some moves, I beat her pretty soundly.

Lest the feat of beating a total beginner with a 9-stone handicap sound too impressive, the rest of the club was gathered around us as we finished our game, and then they pointed out all the places that I should have not just beaten her, but utterly and completely destroyed her if I'd even been paying attention, and places where I would have lost entire corners if she'd known what she was doing.

Go is a long, hard learning curve. She and her brother will probably be cleaning me off the board in a few months.