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The classic sci-fi thriller that became a part of American jargon.


The Stepford Wives

Random House, 1972, 145 pages



For Joanna, her husband, Walter & their children, the move to beautiful Stepford seems almost too good to be true. It is. For behind the town's idyllic facade lies a terrible secret -- a secret so shattering that no one who encounters it will ever be the same.

At once a masterpiece of psychological suspense & a savage commentary on a media-driven society that values the pursuit of youth & beauty at all costs, The Stepford Wives is a novel so frightening in its final implications that the title itself has earned a place in the American lexicon.


An artifact of the 1970s that doesn't translate well to the 21st century. )

Also by Ira Levin: My review of A Kiss Before Dying.




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I have been a Godzilla fan since I was a little kid. Allow me to explain something to you young'uns about the antediluvian days of television: we didn't have Netflix. When I was a wee Godzilla fan, we didn't even have cable. And we didn't have the Internet. Godzilla movies, which, recall, came from Japan, rarely hit American movie theaters, especially older ones.

So if I wanted to see a Godzilla movie? Every week I would peruse the pages of TV Guide and check the Saturday morning listings. That was when one of the local stations, if I was lucky, would run a Godzilla movie.


TV Guide Godzilla listings

How a young Inverarity found Godzilla movies




One of my fondest childhood memories was when the local dollar theater ran an evening matinee for Godzilla vs. the Smog Monster. That trippy discotheque scene was... confusing.



I have not seen every Godzilla movie, but I've seen a lot of them.

As everyone knows, the original Godzilla, produced in 1954, was a monstrous metaphor for Japan's fear of atomic weapons. Godzilla is unleashed from the depths of the ocean by U.S. nuclear testing, and proceeds to stomp all over Tokyo, unleashing radioactive fiery breath before being driven back into the sea.

Godzilla (1954)

Over time, Godzilla movies became increasingly silly and childish. We got nonsense like Son of Godzilla and Godzilla doing a neener-neener victory dance in Godzilla vs. Monster Zero.



The trend swung back towards more serious movies in the 90s, both in Japan and with 1998's Godzilla, the first Hollywood treatment of Big G.

Godzilla (1998)

Godzilla (1998) is rightfully pilloried for being a flavorless installment with a weird-looking Godzilla model (never used again) stomping on New York City instead of Tokyo, but the newer American Godzilla movies have been better, showing some actual respect for the Godzilla universe. However, the Hollywood treatment still makes Godzilla a "good guy." Sure, he might stomp on Denver and San Francisco and a few other cities — collateral damage is to be expected with kaiju — but he's basically defending mankind against "evil" kaiju, and even the humans trying to survive Godzilla sort of see him as a friend.



The most recent Godzilla movie, straight from Japan but a hit in the US, takes us back to the OG Godzilla. And it's a banger.

Godzilla Minus One poster

In many respects, Godzilla Minus One is a straight remake of the original. Godzilla is essentially created by American nuclear tests, he spends much of the movie wrecking Tokyo, and is eventually "defeated" with some scientific gimcrackery. There are no other kaiju, there is no sense ever that Godzilla is "friendly" or a misunderstood monster who just wants to go home — he's an elemental force of destruction and humans can only get out of his way or fight him (the latter usually going as well as you'd expect).

Godzilla Minus One

And as in the original, Godzilla is also a metaphor. Godzilla Minus One, unlike the 1954 version, starts in 1945, at the very end of World War II. Rather than devastating a rebuilt Japan, Godzilla devastates a post-war Japan that is still in the process of rebuilding.

Much of the movie is devoted to the human characters. Koichi Shikishima is a failed kamikaze pilot. On his final mission, he turned back, pretending that his plane was suffering from mechanical failure. This was actually something that apparently happened with some frequency, and the shame that Shikishima feels, and the scorn that some of his fellow Japanese show upon learning that he's a kamikaze pilot who survived, is cast against the utter destruction and suffering the war has wreaked on Japan, and the futility of so many people throwing their lives away in those final days.

In the wreckage of his former home, learning his parents died in the air raids, Shikishima rescues a young woman who's running with a baby that she herself rescued after the baby's mother died.

With Noriko and Akiko, Shikishima has a chance at love and a new family. But he rejects it, because he's still fighting the war in his own mind. And this is where Shikishima and Godzilla both represent different aspects of post-war Japan: Shikishima is the survivor who could rebuild and become happy again, if he can overcome the pain of his past, while Godzilla is, well, the destructive forces that have crushed Japan and are threatening to crush it all over again. It is reinforced over and over that the Japanese government lies, withholds misinformation, and has never acted for the good of the Japanese people, a theme that was certainly on everyone's mind immediately after the war (and which many Japanese might say remains a contemporaneous theme). Not that the American forces are any more reliable. When Godzilla shows up, the Japanese are basically left on their own: General MacArthur says "Sorry, we're too busy dealing with the Soviets." The fight against Godzilla devolves to a bunch of private citizens (who are mostly former Imperial Japanese military personnel) trying to save Japan in a sort of "do-over."

Look out, it's a Godzilla!

If anything struck me as implausible (I know, I know, it's a Godzilla movie, but), it was the complete absence of the U.S. In reality, American GIs were all over Japan at this time, but we don't see a single white actor in the movie. The real-world reason for this is obvious (American actors would be more expensive and wouldn't really have added anything to the story), but it's kind of strange watching former IJN destroyer captains mysteriously "requisition" four destroyers that were slated to be dismantled, and a bunch of civilians getting hold of an experimental jet fighter, complete with bombs and machine guns, at a time when Japan was completely disarmed and under very strict control by US occupation forces.

Godzilla Minus One is amazingly well done for such a small budget. The humans all have stories that make you care about them, and while there's a bit of over-acting, it can't be easy rendering a lowkey, nuanced portrayal of a former Japanese kamikaze pilot suffering PTSD while Godzilla is wrecking Tokyo.

That said, if you don't care about human drama and just want to watch a Godzilla movie to see Godzilla stomp and show off his atomic breath, there is plenty of stompage and radiation.
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Boy meets girl, Napoleon invades Russia, boy loses girl.


War and Peace

Published in 1867, 2101 pages



War and Peace broadly focuses on Napoleon’s invasion of Russia in 1812 and follows three of the most well-known characters in literature: Pierre Bezukhov, the illegitimate son of a count who is fighting for his inheritance and yearning for spiritual fulfillment; Prince Andrei Bolkonsky, who leaves his family behind to fight in the war against Napoleon; and Natasha Rostov, the beautiful young daughter of a nobleman who intrigues both men.

As Napoleon’s army invades, Tolstoy brilliantly follows characters from diverse backgrounds—peasants and nobility, civilians and soldiers—as they struggle with the problems unique to their era, their history, and their culture. And as the novel progresses, these characters transcend their specificity, becoming some of the most moving—and human—figures in world literature.


It's long, it's wordy, it's Russian. )

Also by Leo Tolstoy: My review of The Kreutzer Sonata.




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A Vietnam novel that predicted the Vietnam War.


The Quiet American

William Heinemann London, 1955, 180 pages



Alden Pyle, an idealistic young American, is sent to Vietnam to promote democracy amidst the intrigue and violence of the French war with the Vietminh, while his friend, Fowler, a cynical foreign correspondent, looks on.

Fowler's mistress, a beautiful native girl, creates a catalyst for jealousy and competition between the men and a cultural clash resulting in bloodshed and deep misgivings.

Written in 1955, prior to the Vietnam conflict, The Quiet American foreshadows the events leading up to the Vietnam War. Questions surrounding the moral ambiguity of the involvement of the United States in foreign countries are as relevant today as they were 50 years ago.


This, like any story worth telling, is all about a girl. )




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Hunting vampires is a hellish and violent occupation.


Vampire$

Roc, 1990, 368 pages



You don't just kill vampires for the money, you do it for the satisfaction. You do it because somebody has to. You do it no matter what it does to you. And you drink'a lot. Some jobs just suck. This one bites.

But nobody does it better than Jack Crow, the leader of VAMPIRE$ Inc. His crack team of hunters takes down the blood suckers with a lethal combination of cojones and crossbows.

After members of Jack's team are ambushed and slaughtered; however, the survivors need to rethink their strategy. With a new recruit from the Vatican - A priest who's not afraid to wield a stake - and a sharpshooter loaded up with silver bullets, it's payback time. The only problem is that the vampires have no intention of going down easy. They have their own hit list, and Jack Crow's name is scrawled in blood right at the top.


A review of the book and the John Carpenter movie based on it. )

Also by John Steakley: My review of Armor.




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Cuties

So the Internet is aflame, and who has two thumbs and a Netflix subscription? That's right, moi. I fell for it. I took the bait. I had to see for myself.

I watched Cuties, so you don't have to.

I'm now pretty sure that like most moral panics over media, this thing set off a little spark of indignation to which the network said, "Sure, let's fan that flame! Ka-ching$$$$!"

My verdict? The outraged critics and the fawning defenders are both engaged in orchestrated performative BS.

First of all, Cuties is a French movie. Have you ever seen a French movie? "Cinéma" is French for "boring."

Really. There's about ten minutes total of cringe-inducing tween twerking (I'll get to that), and the rest is your basic "Outsider girl wants to fit in with the cool kids, and has family drama." So she's from a strict religious family, she sees some classmates doing sexy dance moves practicing for a big contest, there's a bunch of stupid tween girl drama that made me want to bash my head against a wall omg-will-it-just-end? And in the climax they do the big dance number and she runs home and realizes she's still a kid and still part of her culture but she can also be her own self, tearful reconciliation with Mom, and then she goes jump-roping, The End.

Yeah, that's how sophisticated it is. See that HEARTFELT moral? That is the literal ending — she hugs it out with her mother, then changes out of her booty shorts and goes jump-roping. So symbolic, so deep, so meaningful!

Cuties is about as spicy as an ABC After School Special, except with condoms and twerking.

Okay. *le sigh* About the twerking.

Yes, it's really uncomfortable to watch. There are several dance sequences, including a couple of extended routines, that are responsible for all the outrage. These 11-year-old girls are totally doing stripper moves, and frankly, anyone who isn't creeped out by it probably shouldn't be left around kids.

Now, there's a lot of debate about the director's intent. This is familiar to anyone who's ever read a controversial book and gotten into arguments about authorial intent. Does it actually matter what message the creator intended to send, if it's drowned out by the message the audience actually sees? The story the movie tells is pretty clearly supposed to be "Children exposed to adult media are being sexualized at a young age." It's made obvious even while they're humping the stage and making jerk-off motions that these little girls don't really understand what they're doing.

That said, telling a story about how sexualizing children is bad by... sexualizing children... is bad. And this movie totally sexualizes children. There are lingering close-ups of pre-teen T&A that seem meant to make the audience cringe. Making a point by being gratuitous, until your point is indistinguishable from unironic portrayal, is very French. It may not be quite as bad as the performative outrage would have you believe ("child porn" my ass, Ted Cruz), but it's bad enough.

So ultimately, Cuties is a rather dull artsy-fartsy movie that solicits attention by trying to play like it's being all Nabokov, but really has no appeal to anyone except pretentious auteurs (i.e., people with no taste) and, uh, pedophiles I guess.
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An adorably violent waifu cyborg, Alita was America's anime sweetheart before James Cameron became infatuated with her.

Battle Angel Alita 1 (Comixology)

In which I review the movie, the book, and the manga. )




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Holly Golightly, the original Happy Hooker (except of course no one calls her that).


Breakfast at Tiffany's

Vintage Classics, 1958, 192 pages



It's New York in the 1940s, where the martinis flow from cocktail hour till breakfast at Tiffany's. And nice girls don't, except, of course, Holly Golightly. Pursued by Mafia gangsters and playboy millionaires, Holly is a fragile eyeful of tawny hair and turned-up nose, a heart-breaker, a perplexer, a traveller, a tease. She is irrepressibly 'top banana in the shock department', and one of the shining flowers of American fiction.


The book is as cute as the movie, though it doesn't have Audrey Hepburn (or, thankfully, Mickey Rooney). )




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Investigators vs. an R-rated haunted house.


Hell House

Viking, 1971, 279 pages



For over 20 years, Belasco House has stood empty. Regarded as the Mt. Everest of haunted houses, its shadowed walls have witnessed scenes of unimaginable horror and depravity. All previous attempts to probe its mysteries have ended in murder, suicide, or insanity.

But now, a new investigation has been launched, bringing four strangers to Belasco House in search of the ultimate secrets of life and death. A wealthy publisher, brooding over his impending death, has paid a physicist and two mediums to establish the facts of life after death once and for all. For one night, they will investigate the Belasco House and learn exactly why the townsfolk refer to it as the Hell House.

Hell House, which inspired the 1973 film The Legend of Hell House, is Matheson's most frightening and shocking book, and an acknowledged classic of the genre.


A killer haunted house and a ghost who wants to bang all the chicks. Also a review of the movie The Legend of Hell House. )


Also by Richard Matheson: My reviews of I Am Legend and Shadow on the Sun.




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How shit went down in Mogadishu.


Black Hawk Down

Simon & Schuster, 1999, 320 pages



Ninety-nine elite American soldiers are trapped in the middle of a hostile city. As night falls, they are surrounded by thousands of enemy gunmen. Their wounded are bleeding to death. Their ammunition and supplies are dwindling. This is the story of how they got there - and how they fought their way out. This is the story of war.

Black Hawk Down drops you into a crowded marketplace in the heart of Mogadishu, Somalia with the U.S. Special Forces and puts you in the middle of the most intense firelight American soldiers have fought since the Vietnam war.

Late in the afternoon of Sunday, October 3, 1993, the soldiers of Task Form Ranger were sent on a mission to capture two top lieutenants of a renegade warlord and return to base. It was supposed to take them about an hour. Instead, they were pinned down through a long and terrible night, locked in a desperate struggle to kill or be killed.

When the unit was finally rescued the following morning, 18 American soldiers were dead and dozens more badly injured. The Somali toll was far worse; more than five hundred felled and over a thousand wounded. Award-winning literary journalist Mark Bowden's dramatic narrative captures this harrowing ordeal through the eyes of the young men who fought that day. He draws on his extensive interviews of participants from both sides - as well as classified combat video and radio transcripts - to bring their stories to life.

Authoritative, gripping, and insightful, Black Hawk Down is a riveting look at the terror and exhilaration of combat destined to become a classic of war reporting.


Soldiers fight, politicians blame. )




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Adultery, redemption, and disease in Hong Kong.


The Painted Veil

Vintage Classics, 1925, 214 pages



First published in 1925, The Painted Veil is an affirmation of the human capacity to grow, change, and forgive. Set in England and Hong Kong in the 1920s, it is the story of the beautiful but shallow young Kitty Fane. When her husband discovers her adulterous affair, he forces her to accompany him to a remote region of China ravaged by a cholera epidemic.

Stripped of the British society of her youth and overwhelmed by the desolation around her, she is compelled by her awakening conscience to reassess her life. She takes up work with children at a convent, but when her husband dies, she is forced to return to England to her father, her one remaining relative, to raise her unborn child. Though too late for her marriage, she has learned humility, independence, and how to love.


Lovelessness in the time of cholera. )




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The first Philip Marlowe novel.


The Big Sleep

Vintage Crime, 1939, 231 pages



Los Angeles PI Philip Marlowe is working for the Sternwood family. Old man Sternwood, crippled and wheelchair-bound, is being given the squeeze by a blackmailer and he wants Marlowe to make the problem go away. But with Sternwood's two wild, devil-may-care daughters prowling LA's seedy backstreets, Marlowe's got his work cut out - and that's before he stumbles over the first corpse.


A twisting, complicated noir. )

Also by Raymond Chandler: My review of The Long Goodbye.




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Two boys save their town from Cooger & Dark's Pandemonium Shadow Show.


Something Wicked This Way Comes

William Morrow, 1962, 293 pages



Few American novels written this century have endured in the heart and mind as has this one - Ray Bradbury's incomparable masterwork of the dark fantastic.

A carnival rolls in sometime after the midnight hour on a chill Midwestern October eve, ushering in Halloween a week before its time. A calliope's shrill siren song beckons to all with a seductive promise of dreams and youth regained. In this season of dying, Cooger & Dark's Pandemonium Shadow Show has come to Green Town, Illinois, to destroy every life touched by its strange and sinister mystery. And two inquisitive boys standing precariously on the brink of adulthood will soon discover the secret of the satanic raree-show's smoke, mazes, and mirrors, as they learn all too well the heavy cost of wishes - and the stuff of nightmare.


Every Bradbury story is set in Green Town. )

Also by Ray Bradbury: My reviews of The Illustrated Man and The Martian Chronicles.




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The true-life story that was the basis for Moby Dick.


In the Heart of the Sea: The Tragedy of the Whaleship Essex

Viking, 1999, 302 pages



The ordeal of the whaleship Essex was an event as mythic in the nineteenth century as the sinking of the Titanic was in the twentieth. In 1819 the Essex left Nantucket for the South Pacific with 20 crew members aboard. In the middle of the South Pacific, the ship was rammed and sunk by an angry sperm whale. The crew drifted for more than 90 days in three tiny whaleboats, succumbing to weather, hunger, and disease and ultimately turning to drastic measures in the fight for survival.

Nathaniel Philbrick uses little-known documents, including a long-lost account written by the ship's cabin boy, and penetrating details about whaling and the Nantucket community to reveal the chilling events surrounding this epic maritime disaster. An intense and mesmerizing read, In the Heart of the Sea is a monumental work of history forever placing the Essex tragedy in the American historical canon.


I was rooting for the whale. )




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A brutal story about a girl with a mother who loves her but loves her abusive stepfather more.


Bastard Out of Carolina

Penguin Books, 1992, 336 pages



Greenville County, South Carolina, is a wild, lush place that is home to the Boatwright family - a tight-knit clan of rough-hewn, hard- drinking men who shoot up each other's trucks, and indomitable women who get married young and age too quickly. At the heart of this story is Ruth Anne Boatwright, known simply as Bone, a bastard child who observes the world around her with a mercilessly keen perspective. When her stepfather, Daddy Glen, "cold as death, mean as a snake", becomes increasingly more vicious toward her, Bone finds herself caught in a family triangle that tests the loyalty of her mother, Anney - and leads to a final, harrowing encounter from which there can be no turning back.


Who's the greater villain: the victimizer or the one who stands by him? )




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The classic novel about Earth being invaded by pod people.


Invasion of the Body Snatchers

Touchstone, 1955, 228 pages



On a quiet fall evening in the small, peaceful town of Mill Valley, California, Dr. Miles Bennell discovered an insidious, horrifying plot. Silently, subtly, almost imperceptibly, alien life-forms were taking over the bodies and minds of his neighbors, his friends, his family, the woman he loved -- the world as he knew it.
First published in 1955, this classic thriller of the ultimate alien invasion and the triumph of the human spirit over an invisible enemy inspired three major motion pictures.


In which humans fight off an alien invasion just by being stubborn. With bonus reviews of ALL FOUR movie adaptations! )

Verdict: Body Snatchers is a classic that's worth reading for its historical impact on the genre, but it reads like what it is, a serialized 50s SF story. The four movies based on it range from good to pretty bad, and I wouldn't recommend you watch all four of them like certain obsessive book reviewers, but you should watch at least one (I recommend either the 1956 or the 1978 version). Rating: 6/10.




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A dancer at a strip club becomes the unwilling nexus of a scandal that endangers her life.


Strip Tease

Pan, 1993, 405 pages



No matter what you heard or thought about the movie version of Strip Tease, forget it. Film simply can’t catch the layers of humor, satire, and imagination that author Carl Hiaasen creates in each of his novels.

When a deranged Florida congressman falls for a gorgeous but virtuous stripper, he dedicates himself to pursuing this tasselled princess. Not only is she a real beauty, she’s a damsel in distress. The effects of his quest will ripple through the spotlights of the strip joint, the sugar cane fields of south Florida, and some powerful political careers.

Fueled by innocent lust and dizzy miscalculations, this story will keep you howling with surprise. George Wilson’s colorful narration is the perfect vehicle for Carl Hiaasen’s twisted fairy tale.


Sugar, snakes, strippers, and lust-crazed Congressmen. )

Verdict: A clever, funny novel that is less sexy but much, much better than the movie. Strip Tease isn't just a humorous tale about a stripper up against corrupt politicians and sugar magnates; it's also humanitarian and satirical and makes me think Hiaasen writes with shades of Vonnegut. 8/10.

Also by Carl Hiaasen: My reviews of Nature Girl and Double Whammy.




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A hard-boiled detective story about gangsters, rich people, dames, drunks, adulterers, and writers.


The Long Goodbye

Vintage Crime, 1953, 379 pages



Down-and-out drunk Terry Lennox has a problem: his millionaire wife is dead and he needs to get out of LA fast. So he turns to his only friend in the world: Philip Marlowe, Private Investigator. He's willing to help a man down on his luck, but later, Lennox commits suicide in Mexico and things start to turn nasty.

Marlowe finds himself drawn into a sordid crowd of adulterers and alcoholics in LA's Idle Valley, where the rich are suffering one big suntanned hangover. Marlowe is sure Lennox didn't kill his wife, but how many more stiffs will turn up before he gets to the truth?


Philip Marlowe learns the rich are not like us. )

Verdict: A classic detective story that holds up well if you liked hard-boiled noir. Few writers have really improved on the classics of the genre, and Raymond Chandler is fun to read, as Philip Marlowe hobnobs with the rich and crazy and spars verbally with cops and gangsters. The Long Goodbye is a good introduction to the character even if it isn't the first in the series. 9/10.




My complete list of book reviews.

Star Wars

Jan. 17th, 2016 01:45 pm
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Didn't suck. Was not great. I liked it, but it wouldn't become a blockbuster, or a classic, without 35 years of nostalgia and hype behind it. JJ Abrams does epic eye-candy well, and he's better at characterization than George Lucas (but who isn't?), but there wasn't a damn thing original in this film. It took no risks, did nothing new, and thus it's hard to see it as anything other than a cynical merchandising machine.

As a snobby serious science fiction fan, I have always been willing to suspend my disbelief for cinematic sci-fi, but Star Wars still has to offend with egregious stupidity. The first Death Star really made no sense, and a super-duper Death Star makes even less sense. Who the hell builds these things? Where did the "First Order" get the income to build planet-sized war machines when the Empire has fallen apart? So the Republic remains a useless collection of idealists who sit around drinking martinis until their planets are blown up, while a new Empire just pops up and is capable of wiping them off the map? What is the Rebellion rebelling against if the Republic is supposed to be the legitimate government now? The politics and economy are as incoherent as the science.

These are the things that bug me, not Kylo Ren's stupid cross-guard light saber or his being p0wned by two novices in a duel.

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