You're still responding to what I'm saying in your head, and not to what I'm actually saying.
Women aren't inferior at dealing with hostile arguments from men because of their inherent womanliness. But if you've been socialized all your life to believe that (a) You ought to defer to men's wishes (b) You shouldn't talk as much as men do and (c) If you break the above two rules men are likely to harm you emotionally, physically, or both--is it any real surprise that "Shut the fuck up" carries a far more harsh and threatening tone when it comes from a man to a woman?
And yes, basically every woman in the West is socialized in those ways, because guess what? We still live in a sexist society so everyone is socialized to believe those things. The fact that some women manage to overcome it is heroic, but it's not something they should have to do. The responsibility for ending this state of affairs does not lie with the women, but with the men, because it's the men who created it and the men who benefit from it
You're the only one in this thread who's suggested we "coddle" women. What I'm suggesting is that if men play into sexist tropes when talking with women, they should be called out on it. And if they continue doing so even after being told not to, they should be publically shamed. And guess what? Doing the above things is actually far more empowering and affirming for a woman than stoically ignoring the sexist insults hurled at her.
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Date: 2012-04-10 01:52 am (UTC)Women aren't inferior at dealing with hostile arguments from men because of their inherent womanliness. But if you've been socialized all your life to believe that (a) You ought to defer to men's wishes (b) You shouldn't talk as much as men do and (c) If you break the above two rules men are likely to harm you emotionally, physically, or both--is it any real surprise that "Shut the fuck up" carries a far more harsh and threatening tone when it comes from a man to a woman?
And yes, basically every woman in the West is socialized in those ways, because guess what? We still live in a sexist society so everyone is socialized to believe those things. The fact that some women manage to overcome it is heroic, but it's not something they should have to do. The responsibility for ending this state of affairs does not lie with the women, but with the men, because it's the men who created it and the men who benefit from it
You're the only one in this thread who's suggested we "coddle" women. What I'm suggesting is that if men play into sexist tropes when talking with women, they should be called out on it. And if they continue doing so even after being told not to, they should be publically shamed. And guess what? Doing the above things is actually far more empowering and affirming for a woman than stoically ignoring the sexist insults hurled at her.