She took care of Alex for what, like a day? Yeah, sorry, that's not enough in my book. Fine. :)
Hey, all I've read is the fourth book; it's not like I know. ;) But considering Inverarity's habits when it comes to plot, I think it's highly likely Hecate's never coming back. Got it. Well it would totally ruin the other stuff going on, in a way that can't be resolved in 4 chapters.
Then average all others. ... I agree with you. I don't mean average on any kind of objective scale; I mean average compared with all the others. As I said, there are a lot of bad mothers out there, far worse than Claudia. ...
I tend to give Claudia a lot more leeway than most people, I think. It's important to remember that we only see her and Archie through Alex's point of view, and being a parent of a kid like Alexandra is not easy at the best of times. Claudia certainly does not handle everything perfectly, but given all the circumstances I think she overall does an OK job.
I hear that, and good point about this being Alex's immature viewpoint. What determines a person's reaction to Claudia? I think it's largely a matter of personal experience. These things are set early in life, and its hard for someone raised in a less connected family to understand why someone raised in a more emotionally expressive family doesn't get their sense of family.
Given a choice between biological children and adoptive, or just one?
I don't understand the question. looking back, I don't understand it either. :) What I meant to say: If someone has one biological and one adopted child, I am not sure that they will have an equal relationship. Maybe they will. My instinct is that they won't. Maybe I'm wrong. I'm sure it depends on the individual.
(the above is my way of awkwardly ducking out of a debate)
Looking at a few paragraphs from your later post:
Well I don't think this is something we'll ever come to an agreement on, but I have to say I just plain disagree with this. I think it's entirely possible for an adoptive child to be just as loved as the most-loved biological child--yes, even in their teenage years. And I definitely think it's wrong to think of the lack of a biological bond as a "problem."
Not to say there aren't some unique issues with adoptive children, including deciding when and how to tell them they're adopted. But again, I just don't want to say to an adopted child "Sorry, but your relationship with your parent is inherently lacking in some fashion." Not that you'd ever say that of course...but I feel that's the logical consequence of your position. I don't think it's lacking - any more than any of my friendships could be considered to be lacking because I'm not their biological sister! I have no adopted siblings so this ia all hypothetical for me. For all I know, you're right and a child adopted at birth would pick up these same habits and peculiarities. If I would adopt a child, I hope to love them just the same and certainly ensure that the child would never feel different than my other children. But pretending the child isn't adopted shows that there is insecurity in the parent's part about their mothership, if they can't face the truth. And admitting the child is adopted is opening the door to a LOT of internal conflict as the kid gets older, and that conflict is only going to settle once the kid accepts both parents in some way - which is usually done by adopted kids finding out what happened to their bio parents. I think it wouldn't be as easy as being your parents' bio kid, either way.
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Re: tealterror
Date: 2012-04-29 04:38 am (UTC)Fine. :)
Hey, all I've read is the fourth book; it's not like I know. ;) But considering Inverarity's habits when it comes to plot, I think it's highly likely Hecate's never coming back.
Got it. Well it would totally ruin the other stuff going on, in a way that can't be resolved in 4 chapters.
Then average all others.
...
I agree with you. I don't mean average on any kind of objective scale; I mean average compared with all the others. As I said, there are a lot of bad mothers out there, far worse than Claudia.
...
I tend to give Claudia a lot more leeway than most people, I think. It's important to remember that we only see her and Archie through Alex's point of view, and being a parent of a kid like Alexandra is not easy at the best of times. Claudia certainly does not handle everything perfectly, but given all the circumstances I think she overall does an OK job.
I hear that, and good point about this being Alex's immature viewpoint.
What determines a person's reaction to Claudia? I think it's largely a matter of personal experience. These things are set early in life, and its hard for someone raised in a less connected family to understand why someone raised in a more emotionally expressive family doesn't get their sense of family.
Given a choice between biological children and adoptive, or just one?
I don't understand the question.
looking back, I don't understand it either. :)
What I meant to say: If someone has one biological and one adopted child, I am not sure that they will have an equal relationship. Maybe they will. My instinct is that they won't. Maybe I'm wrong. I'm sure it depends on the individual.
(the above is my way of awkwardly ducking out of a debate)
Looking at a few paragraphs from your later post:
Well I don't think this is something we'll ever come to an agreement on, but I have to say I just plain disagree with this. I think it's entirely possible for an adoptive child to be just as loved as the most-loved biological child--yes, even in their teenage years. And I definitely think it's wrong to think of the lack of a biological bond as a "problem."
Not to say there aren't some unique issues with adoptive children, including deciding when and how to tell them they're adopted. But again, I just don't want to say to an adopted child "Sorry, but your relationship with your parent is inherently lacking in some fashion." Not that you'd ever say that of course...but I feel that's the logical consequence of your position.
I don't think it's lacking - any more than any of my friendships could be considered to be lacking because I'm not their biological sister! I have no adopted siblings so this ia all hypothetical for me. For all I know, you're right and a child adopted at birth would pick up these same habits and peculiarities. If I would adopt a child, I hope to love them just the same and certainly ensure that the child would never feel different than my other children. But pretending the child isn't adopted shows that there is insecurity in the parent's part about their mothership, if they can't face the truth. And admitting the child is adopted is opening the door to a LOT of internal conflict as the kid gets older, and that conflict is only going to settle once the kid accepts both parents in some way - which is usually done by adopted kids finding out what happened to their bio parents.
I think it wouldn't be as easy as being your parents' bio kid, either way.
Why does my opinion bother you so much?