I can be real writer? Uh, maybe not. The second annual QuickCon: Come join me as I cry in my coffee

[inverarity]

So, I have a confession to make:

I really dodid think I'm a pretty good writer.

I mean, I am able to adopt a humble posture which is mostly sincere, but I think I am actually pretty realistic about my abilities. I can craft decent stories, I have the technical aspects of writing pretty well mastered (which is not to say I am so perfect as to not need proofreading, but I've got my SPAG down), and I know that writing at a professional level is way different than being able to write good fan fiction.

I know I am a better fan fiction writer than most. But let's face it, that's like Dwight Schrute showing off his mad blue belt skillz in a dojo full of kids half his size.



Still, when I finished the first draft of my OF novel, I really thought, "This will need some tuning up, a little revision, I know the ending needs work, but I think this will stand out from the slush."

As I work on the second draft of my novel, I have begun submitting the first few chapters to online workshops. These are critique groups made up of aspiring authors who read and critique other aspiring authors' work, the idea being that you return the favor (by various mechanisms, depending on the group). It's entirely different from getting fan fiction reviews - the assumption is that these are writers who want to be professionally published and you are supposed to tear their shit up (with degrees of brutality that vary according to individual style and the rules of the workshop) to help them achieve that. They will, of course, return the favor.

So, I was prepared for, you know, some harsh critiques. But I honestly expected they'd be mostly positive, with helpful comments about things that could be improved.

I did get some that were pretty positive. But right now the critiques are running about 50/50 "You are (almost) good enough to be published" and "OMFG this sucks donkey balls!"



Okay, nobody actually said "donkey balls." But someone did say this:

To be completely honest, I found the world to be boring, the characters unbelievable, and I'm absolutely positive I wouldn't waste good money on this book if it was published. I wouldn't even read it if it was free.

o..O



I found myself having to resist all the impulses I thought I was totally too sensible and thick-skinned to feel: "Well, fuck you, what do you know?" "You're just tearing me down because I wrote a harsh critique of your piece."



(Don't worry, I never responded to anyone in that manner, and I was not tempted to do so. But I can't deny that thoughts like that oozed out of the suppurating bruises in my ego.)

Yeah, so, after picking up the shattered pieces of my authorial self-esteem, and trying to put it back together, I have been reading and rereading the harshest critiques. I'll have a lot more to say about critique groups in general once I have more experience with them - as you'd expect, participants' skill at critiquing varies as widely as their skill at writing, but these are mostly at least adequate if not pretty darn good writers.

The conclusion I have (mostly) come to, although I am still unsure (and so completely thrown by the wide-ranging reactions that I no longer have any faith in my own judgment at all) is that, at the very least, my first chapter completely fails and will likely garner me nothing but form-letter rejections. I am not sure if this means that I need to completely rewrite the first chapter, or completely rewrite the whole damn book.

QuickCon 2012

So anyway, basking in the adoration of my fansmeeting people who don't think I suck will perhaps help repair my wounded ego. If you are in the Washington D.C. area, I will once again be attending Capclave the weekend of October 12-14. Guests of honor are John Scalzi and Nick Mamatas (nihilistic_kid). And inverarity. Well, I'm not a guest of honor at Capclave. No one knows who the hell an unpublished nobody like me is. Except those of you who show up for our second annual mini-QuickCon gathering. I may even talk about AQATWA. ;) Post here if you think you might be able to make it! (Actual arrangements for meeting up will be done via PM/email.)

Comments

[shinygobonkers.livejournal.com]

i'd forgotten about scalzi being GOH :D
unless something drastic happens, being there is the plan.

also, without actually having seen the work in question, but based on AQ at least, i dont think your previous writing self-assessment was off. really.

re : quick-e con

[wodcdre.livejournal.com]

I'll. Be there!

[tealterror0.livejournal.com]

I should be able to make it to Quick(Mini)Con this year. Unfortunately, though, I can't be there the entire weekend due to various matters. I'll give you details over email.

As for writing skill transferring from fanfic to original fiction...
OK, first let me say this. I do think you have genuine skill as a writer. You write compelling characters and generally plot out good storylines.

That said...the fact is, writing fanfic is a lot easier than writing original fiction (I've written both, or tried to at least). Even if all your characters are OCs, the fact is you already have a world to play around in instead of being forced to come up with a new one from scratch. There are a bunch of things you don't have to explain or think about because they're already there. Especially in a case like Harry Potter, which has a very evocative world (one reason it has so many fanfics).

In addition, fanfic carries with it very different audience expectations. And I'm not talking about an expectation of lower quality (though that's certainly there). First of all, anyone who reads a HP fanfic is already sold on the idea of a magical world that hides from the regular world and etc. People might not like your fic for another reasons, but an innate dislike for the genre/setting isn't one of them. That's not the case with original fiction (which explains the negative review you quoted).

Second, separate from quality, people are much more willing to forgive pacing issues. The first AQ book kind of starts really slow actually; if you were going to publish it, you'd probably have to make the beginning a lot leaner. You've gotten better about this in later books, but then again, you didn't have to introduce your setting and characters in later books. I wouldn't be surprised if the beginning of your original fiction book is similarly slow. Even if it isn't, it may have lulls elsewhere that are ok in fanfic but poison for books looking to get published.

Besides, it's your first attempt at writing original fiction--or at least, your first attempt in a long time. It's not a surprise if it still has rough edges. :)

(I've tried writing multiple original fictions, mainly for NaNoWriMo, and they're still crap...)

[xiao-tsubasa.livejournal.com]

I feel that most critiques are half shallow opinions anyways, so don't let them get you down! :0 You're still better than average?

aw, I wish I could meet you, but it will be a long time until I am able to make it across the entire country to get to DC
:[

[swissmarg]

How would you feel about posting a teensy weensy excerpt of your story here? :D

[inverarity.livejournal.com]

I'm afraid that would be a few too many Internet breadcrumbs for my liking. Also, at this point I am fairly convinced I need to rewrite the beginning/trunk it for a while.

[alicetheowl.livejournal.com]

That negative comment you posted isn't constructive in any way. The person didn't pinpoint anything specific. S/he just ranted.

That's not a critique. That's an axe to grind. That person has no business critiquing anyone's work, much less people s/he doesn't know.

In my writing group, I've said some negative things, but never an umbrella statement. If I say something like, "I don't like your male love interest," I then back it up with where I find him prickly, what he said or did to turn me off him, and some alternatives of presenting these personality traits without changing the character or continuing to make him unlikable.

I can be pretty harsh, but that's beyond harsh. It's just plain mean.

[inverarity.livejournal.com]

Well, in fairness, that was just an excerpt. The critique did contain some specific comments that weren't entirely off-point (though they were equally unkind).

However, you're not wrong about an axe to grind, as it turns out.

[alicetheowl.livejournal.com]

I can see maybe making such sneering remarks in a review of a book one paid to read, but there's only one purpose of sending them directly to the writer, and it's not to make friends. So, I'd be unsurprised to learn that critique person had some personal reason for writing such nasty remarks, none of which actually reflect on the work.

I need to do another blog entry on critique again soon. I wrote one a while back, but it muddled the most important point. That being, you can't listen to everyone, and you can't address every point. Learning which comments to integrate is just as important as integrating them.

I used to make myself crazy, trying to make everyone happy. Then I started to leave the editing until a few days after the crit session, after I'd had a chance to think over what I was trying to do and why people got the impressions they did. My editing got a lot more polished after that.

[inverarity.livejournal.com]

I probably need to do that, too. (Let the critiques sit a while, I mean.)

As for the critique in question, that turned out to be merely a prelude. Evidently, I've run afoul of a Special Snowflake who seems to have friends. She didn't like a critique I posted of her work, and so...

(My critique was rather blunt, but I certainly did not say anything like "You suck and I would never pay money to read this.")

[alicetheowl.livejournal.com]

It takes practice, and I'm still really sensitive to criticism. But then I remind myself my writing group doesn't compose the only people in the world who read, and that makes me feel a lot better.

It's also helped to not universalize any criticism. Just because I didn't get across what one character is thinking doesn't mean I suck at characterization or POV. It just means that I was inside that character's head when I was writing the scene, and never thought about what it might look like to a reader who lacked my context.

[asulon-bellanca.livejournal.com]

Alice the Owl nailed it. I don't read romance novels so for me to review one and simply say "wow, this isn't worth the wear and tear on your keyboard dude" would be ridiculus. There weren't any examples, there weren't any suggestions. He might be totally right but you shouldn't take the word of someone who can't compose a good critique as the golden bar to set your sights on, particularly if you are getting helpful, believable, middle of the road reviews from others.