Alex's actions are certainly heroic, and individually she manages to justify them (some times more convincingly than others). But the overall pattern is clear. I don't think she's self-sacrificing because she's a Superman-level moral saint. I think she's self-sacrificing because she hates herself and has a death wish. This certainly did not change in Book 4.
This is a very valid and, I think, astute observation. Not many people do the things Alex tries to do who have a deep-seated desire to grow old. It's one of the things that separate her from Harry. Harry wants a normal life and to be an old man and have kids, but he's willing to give that up for the greater good; Alex barely puts thought into the future because I don't think she cares where she ends up enough to aspire to much beyond the present and near-future. And being given seven years by the Generous Ones to get things in order gives her little reason to stop acting that way. She knows, I think, that her father could help her, but she cuts him off at the end of AQatSA; (stupidly) travels all the way across the country to piss in John Manuelito's cornflakes because she thinks he's trying to kill her; and even tries to save Larry from himself, even though I personally would let the Nemesis have him for a snack. All of these are dangerous things that not many sane people would do willingly, but knowing the consequences will all be the same in the end gives her carte blanche to keep on doing them.
Overall, it makes me sad, though, because even though she seems to support the Alexandra Committee, I think she just wants them to feel like they are doing something to help. I doubt Alex really believes they will figure it out, as she seems more interested in curing Hecate's memory illness than figuring out how to not die, but she loves them all and doesn't want to die with them resenting her. As you pointed out, that was her boggart, everyone hating her and thinking she was a blight, and maybe guilt in involving them all might have driven her to do several of the slew of dangerous things she did in AQatSA.
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Date: 2012-09-08 05:13 am (UTC)This is a very valid and, I think, astute observation. Not many people do the things Alex tries to do who have a deep-seated desire to grow old. It's one of the things that separate her from Harry. Harry wants a normal life and to be an old man and have kids, but he's willing to give that up for the greater good; Alex barely puts thought into the future because I don't think she cares where she ends up enough to aspire to much beyond the present and near-future. And being given seven years by the Generous Ones to get things in order gives her little reason to stop acting that way. She knows, I think, that her father could help her, but she cuts him off at the end of AQatSA; (stupidly) travels all the way across the country to piss in John Manuelito's cornflakes because she thinks he's trying to kill her; and even tries to save Larry from himself, even though I personally would let the Nemesis have him for a snack. All of these are dangerous things that not many sane people would do willingly, but knowing the consequences will all be the same in the end gives her carte blanche to keep on doing them.
Overall, it makes me sad, though, because even though she seems to support the Alexandra Committee, I think she just wants them to feel like they are doing something to help. I doubt Alex really believes they will figure it out, as she seems more interested in curing Hecate's memory illness than figuring out how to not die, but she loves them all and doesn't want to die with them resenting her. As you pointed out, that was her boggart, everyone hating her and thinking she was a blight, and maybe guilt in involving them all might have driven her to do several of the slew of dangerous things she did in AQatSA.
And wow. I am in a rambling mood tonight.