AQATDR - Chapter Twenty: The Winter Ball

[inverarity]

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Chapter 20 Review

[(Anonymous)]

(this is TealTerror, incidentally)

So I left this nice, long, scene-by-scene review of chapter 20...and then fanfiction.net ate it. So yeah, didn't really feel like writing the entire thing out again. >_>

I'll post an actual ff.net review later (mostly to assuage my perfectionist tendencies), but for now, these were the major points:
1) Another great chapter, no real complaints.
2) Good job showing that Diana Grimm is not incompetent, and also humanizing her a little. I still think it would do her good to apologize for destroying an expensive broom for no good reason, but I suppose she was never meant to be particularly likable anyway.
3) The hag scene at the station felt kinda pointless--more of a means to get Alex to angst than anything else. But maybe I'm wrong and it'll come up again in the future. I hope so, at any rate.
4) Enjoyed the scene in the train, particularly because we got to see more of Angelique and got to, well, see Dylan actually do stuff (he had been introduced before, but we knew basically nothing about him other than that he's David's roommate).
5) Liked the Alex/Anna reconciliation scene, though it's clear there are still a bunch of unresolved issues in that relationship. That's a good thing, though--character conflict like that shouldn't be dropped lightly.
6) The ball was awesome. First because of all the Ship Tease (I count Alex/Torvald, Alex/Anna, and Alex/Larry, though I'm slightly disappointed we got no Alex/David). And second, because Abraham showed us once again that, while the Confederation may be incredibly corrupt, he ain't exactly a beacon of light either. Casting the Imperius Curse on a teenager just to deliver a message to his daughter is...effective, I'll give it that much. Evil, but certainly effective.
7) Anna has a crush on Alex.
I had suspected this for a while, but the subtext practically became text in the chapter. I counted at least three hints--and while most of them have easy alternate explanations, there are very few ways to take Anna wanting to dance with Alex at a ball.

The second half of the book is shaping up great. Looking forward to chapter 21! :D

Re: Chapter 20 Review

[fpb.livejournal.com]

I thought the hag scene served two purposes:
one, remind the reader that the wizarding world is always full of dangerous and mysterious things (something that JKR also constantly does), and,
two, bring out once again how constantly the death of Maximilian is on Alex' mind, and how it underlies everything she does.

Re: Chapter 20 Review

[(Anonymous)]

Well, you are right that it does do a little bit of world-building.

As for point two, though, I don't think we really need another reminder that Max's death is constantly on her mind. That's obvious enough already.

Re: Chapter 20 Review

[fpb.livejournal.com]

I think I explained myself badly. It's not so much that it is on her mind, as that it dangerously distorts her reactions. Here one hint that the hag might have some way of reaching the dead is enough for Alexandra to risk, at least to be drawn to the idea, of placing herself in obvious danger. She is still in a mood to take crazed risks merely to feed her denial.

Re: Chapter 20 Review

[(Anonymous)]

That's a better explanation, but again, I think the fact that she's researching what's basically necromancy is enough to make that point anyway. I can accept the scene as world-building, but it didn't really give us any new insights into Alex's character.

Oh, that hag

[inverarity.livejournal.com]

Well, if it makes you feel any better, my betas also thought it was a little unnecessary. If I were writing an actual publishable novel, the hag scene would probably get cut. (Though Hilda just might show up again...)

Re: Chapter 20 Review

[fpb.livejournal.com]

As for point six, you have to remember that Abraham Thorn is notoriously vindictive where his children are concerned. Larry Albo has given his daughter a lot of grief, and to have him dance with her was a devilishly imaginative feat of revenge. Who's ever going to believe him afterward? Personally, I loved it.

Re: Chapter 20 Review

[(Anonymous)]

Maybe so (I agree that the choice of Larry was likely not coincidental), but an adolescent feud in no way justifies having an Imperius placed on you. It's not an exaggeration to say that being Imperiused is worse than being enslaved; there's a reason it's an Unforgivable.

Now, Larry will probably just say he was messing with her and nobody will really care. It won't have a disastrous effect on his life, in any event. But Imperiusing a teenager is still awfully disturbing, IMO.

Re: Chapter 20 Review

[fpb.livejournal.com]

Abraham Thorn has just been guilty of the death of a whole train-full of people. He may claim that it was the Government's fault for not taking his warning seriously (a chickenshit piece of evasion of responsibility that the IRA used to indulge), but he closed the tunnel and condemned those people to death. Frankly, given that, I am surprised you should find his imperiusing one teen-ager so disturbing. It is in character and less than I would have expected from him.

Re: Chapter 20 Review

[(Anonymous)]

Three points:
A) Crimes committed on-stage are always worse than crimes committed off-stage. So while my being more disturbed by this scene than the Roanoke Underhill crash might be a reflection of problems in human moral reasoning, it shouldn't be surprising.
B) Abraham Thorn is almost a textbook Well-Intentioned Extremist. The train crash was basically explained away, in his mind, as a necessary sacrifice to reform the Confederacy. Cold-hearted, certainly, but not completely clear-cut evil.
On the other hand, I'm sure there were plenty of ways to notify Alex about the time and place of their meeting, but he went straight for the Imperius. That IS evil, no two bones about it.
C) I never said or implied that I found the Imperius out-of-character for him, or contrary to my expectations. I merely said it was evil and disturbing, and a REMINDER that Abraham isn't anything close to a good guy. Our argument got started because I got the impression that you don't think it was a very big deal. If I'm wrong about that, I apologize.

Re: Chapter 20 Review

[fpb.livejournal.com]

I think we agree exactly on your point B, or almost exactly. I would say that while Thorn is very good at justifying himself, things like the cursing of Larry Albo (whether it was an Imperio or something else, it was at least a public humiliation of the harshest kind) bring out his real quality. Actually, when it comes to that, his manipulation and use of his too-loyal sixteen-year-old son is even worse. It reminds me of what a really bad parent will do during a custody case, and it involves, not just mechanical manipulation from outside, but going there and making use of a boy's emotions and ill-judged loyalty to send him to his death for a purely physical advantage - manipulating him in person. What Thorn did to Maximilian, he did it face to face, and we have to remember that with all his honour and courage, Max was still only sixteen.

As for the rest, I have a suspicion that my problem may lie with JKR's own categories. It has always bothered me a bit that she should place so much emphasis on curses that, after all, only affect individuals, in the context of a society where people can be corrupted by the million. But I think we had better leave it there, because that would open a whole new can of worms.

Re: Chapter 20 Review

[inverarity.livejournal.com]

What, no Alex/Dylan shippers now? ;)

Re: Chapter 20 Review

[alexnlarry.livejournal.com]

That would kind of be like Harry/Parvati or Ron/Padma, wouldn't it? :)

Re: Chapter 20 Review

[(Anonymous)]

I didn't count Alex/Dylan as a ship tease because this was the first chapter it was even remotely implied.

Now that it has been, however, if Dylan, say, asks her to the Sweetheart's Dance...

Thorn's info

[alexnlarry.livejournal.com]

How did Thorn pull it off, though? How did he know there was going to be a ball, that Larry was going to be there, get close enough to cast Imperius, etc.? It was more believable that he knew what was going on at Charmbridge when Max was there. Of course, any of the teachers could be part of the Thorn circle (Dean Grimm, maybe?). I do agree that using Larry was probably not a random choice, because Max could have told their father about Larry pretending to use Crucio on Alex.
On another note, I'm embarrassed to say how I reacted when Larry asked Alex to dance. Let's just say there was high-pitched screaming involved. The 'ship teases in this chapter were horrible...just horrible! :) So, getting over that, it was disgusting that Thorn basically programmed Larry to deliver a message. It was good to see that Alex at least was a little concerned about the real Larry if her father was using Polyjuice. Not just because I think these two will eventually become at least friends but mostly because it shows that Alex, though single-minded and desperate, is not ruthless in achieving her goals like her father seems to be.

ship tease

[(Anonymous)]

Rhemus wrote

Ball was a good scene, we need some mostly happy scenes after 6 months of doom and gloom, but Pritchards dance with Rashes??? OUCH!!!

David/Angelique is fine. Torvald is nice, Torvald/Pritchards would be OK. But Alex is the Hero, her lover(s) must be nice AND sexy AND important OR you could go for realism, her love affair{s} might be randomly by hormones and Iggy the chest Monster.

Alex/Anna? It might work, but Alex has not caught hormones yet. Girls do dance together, so if A/A had danced,it would have been a bit of fan-service for the shippers without forcing the plot in any direction.

Abraham continues to show off and be flashy in public. "Hey,Auror department. Here is Abe Thorn the famous tyrant delivering SECRET messages again!!!" Aurors continue to be Keystone Kopps.

Diana on the other hand is competent. How did she join the Aurors? Did she sign ner name "Anaid Mmirg?"

Hag scene: I compare to the creepy twins in HpB movie. Twins were in the background building a darksome atmosphere. Hag had too much foreground time.