inverarity | AQATDR - Chapter Twenty: The Winter Ball

(this is TealTerror, incidentally)

So I left this nice, long, scene-by-scene review of chapter 20...and then fanfiction.net ate it. So yeah, didn't really feel like writing the entire thing out again. >_>

I'll post an actual ff.net review later (mostly to assuage my perfectionist tendencies), but for now, these were the major points:
1) Another great chapter, no real complaints.
2) Good job showing that Diana Grimm is not incompetent, and also humanizing her a little. I still think it would do her good to apologize for destroying an expensive broom for no good reason, but I suppose she was never meant to be particularly likable anyway.
3) The hag scene at the station felt kinda pointless--more of a means to get Alex to angst than anything else. But maybe I'm wrong and it'll come up again in the future. I hope so, at any rate.
4) Enjoyed the scene in the train, particularly because we got to see more of Angelique and got to, well, see Dylan actually do stuff (he had been introduced before, but we knew basically nothing about him other than that he's David's roommate).
5) Liked the Alex/Anna reconciliation scene, though it's clear there are still a bunch of unresolved issues in that relationship. That's a good thing, though--character conflict like that shouldn't be dropped lightly.
6) The ball was awesome. First because of all the Ship Tease (I count Alex/Torvald, Alex/Anna, and Alex/Larry, though I'm slightly disappointed we got no Alex/David). And second, because Abraham showed us once again that, while the Confederation may be incredibly corrupt, he ain't exactly a beacon of light either. Casting the Imperius Curse on a teenager just to deliver a message to his daughter is...effective, I'll give it that much. Evil, but certainly effective.
7) Anna has a crush on Alex.
I had suspected this for a while, but the subtext practically became text in the chapter. I counted at least three hints--and while most of them have easy alternate explanations, there are very few ways to take Anna wanting to dance with Alex at a ball.

The second half of the book is shaping up great. Looking forward to chapter 21! :D

I thought the hag scene served two purposes:
one, remind the reader that the wizarding world is always full of dangerous and mysterious things (something that JKR also constantly does), and,
two, bring out once again how constantly the death of Maximilian is on Alex' mind, and how it underlies everything she does.

Well, you are right that it does do a little bit of world-building.

As for point two, though, I don't think we really need another reminder that Max's death is constantly on her mind. That's obvious enough already.

I think I explained myself badly. It's not so much that it is on her mind, as that it dangerously distorts her reactions. Here one hint that the hag might have some way of reaching the dead is enough for Alexandra to risk, at least to be drawn to the idea, of placing herself in obvious danger. She is still in a mood to take crazed risks merely to feed her denial.

That's a better explanation, but again, I think the fact that she's researching what's basically necromancy is enough to make that point anyway. I can accept the scene as world-building, but it didn't really give us any new insights into Alex's character.

Well, if it makes you feel any better, my betas also thought it was a little unnecessary. If I were writing an actual publishable novel, the hag scene would probably get cut. (Though Hilda just might show up again...)

As for point six, you have to remember that Abraham Thorn is notoriously vindictive where his children are concerned. Larry Albo has given his daughter a lot of grief, and to have him dance with her was a devilishly imaginative feat of revenge. Who's ever going to believe him afterward? Personally, I loved it.

Maybe so (I agree that the choice of Larry was likely not coincidental), but an adolescent feud in no way justifies having an Imperius placed on you. It's not an exaggeration to say that being Imperiused is worse than being enslaved; there's a reason it's an Unforgivable.

Now, Larry will probably just say he was messing with her and nobody will really care. It won't have a disastrous effect on his life, in any event. But Imperiusing a teenager is still awfully disturbing, IMO.

Abraham Thorn has just been guilty of the death of a whole train-full of people. He may claim that it was the Government's fault for not taking his warning seriously (a chickenshit piece of evasion of responsibility that the IRA used to indulge), but he closed the tunnel and condemned those people to death. Frankly, given that, I am surprised you should find his imperiusing one teen-ager so disturbing. It is in character and less than I would have expected from him.

Three points:
A) Crimes committed on-stage are always worse than crimes committed off-stage. So while my being more disturbed by this scene than the Roanoke Underhill crash might be a reflection of problems in human moral reasoning, it shouldn't be surprising.
B) Abraham Thorn is almost a textbook Well-Intentioned Extremist. The train crash was basically explained away, in his mind, as a necessary sacrifice to reform the Confederacy. Cold-hearted, certainly, but not completely clear-cut evil.
On the other hand, I'm sure there were plenty of ways to notify Alex about the time and place of their meeting, but he went straight for the Imperius. That IS evil, no two bones about it.
C) I never said or implied that I found the Imperius out-of-character for him, or contrary to my expectations. I merely said it was evil and disturbing, and a REMINDER that Abraham isn't anything close to a good guy. Our argument got started because I got the impression that you don't think it was a very big deal. If I'm wrong about that, I apologize.

I think we agree exactly on your point B, or almost exactly. I would say that while Thorn is very good at justifying himself, things like the cursing of Larry Albo (whether it was an Imperio or something else, it was at least a public humiliation of the harshest kind) bring out his real quality. Actually, when it comes to that, his manipulation and use of his too-loyal sixteen-year-old son is even worse. It reminds me of what a really bad parent will do during a custody case, and it involves, not just mechanical manipulation from outside, but going there and making use of a boy's emotions and ill-judged loyalty to send him to his death for a purely physical advantage - manipulating him in person. What Thorn did to Maximilian, he did it face to face, and we have to remember that with all his honour and courage, Max was still only sixteen.

As for the rest, I have a suspicion that my problem may lie with JKR's own categories. It has always bothered me a bit that she should place so much emphasis on curses that, after all, only affect individuals, in the context of a society where people can be corrupted by the million. But I think we had better leave it there, because that would open a whole new can of worms.

What, no Alex/Dylan shippers now? ;)

That would kind of be like Harry/Parvati or Ron/Padma, wouldn't it? :)

I didn't count Alex/Dylan as a ship tease because this was the first chapter it was even remotely implied.

Now that it has been, however, if Dylan, say, asks her to the Sweetheart's Dance...

AQATDR - Chapter Twenty: The Winter Ball

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Oh, that hag

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