Inverarity is not a Scottish village

Because I don't do tumblr, this is amusing enough to repost:

The Harry Potter Novels According to Narcissa Malfoy:

1. Narcissa Malfoy and He’s Not Going To Durmstrang
2. Narcissa Malfoy and What Happened to Our House Elf, Lucius?
3. Narcissa Malfoy and and The Injury of her Poor Baby
4. Narcissa Malfoy and the Time She Had Something Foul-Smelling Under Her Nose
5. Narcissa Malfoy and the Time Her Sister Broke Out of Azkaban and Came to Live in Her House
6. Narcissa Malfoy and He’s Just a Boy
7. Narcissa Malfoy and That Time She Saved the World

Ms. Grimm seems to be the clear winner in the character poll. You can still vote, though: I may commission more than one illustration. ;)

And uh, gosh, I guess I'd better finish my pphpficexchange fic. >..> (This is the last time I sign up for anything with a deadline...)

I have mixed feelings about FictionAlley's application for a $25,000 grant from the Pepsi Refresh challenge.

I know that they've been put in a tough spot financially, and it would be sad to see FA disappear. (Though I barely visit the forums anymore... too many trolls.)

When I remember to, I do go through FA's affiliate link to buy stuff from Amazon. But I'm not sure I can really get behind a push to vote for them as "most worthy charity." Let's face it, they're in competition with animal shelters, school music and arts, libraries, and other charities that to my mind are a little more worthy of $25K.

I don't think the FA folks are selfish or immoral for applying for this grant, and I wish them luck. I hate it when people start listing hierarchies of need and saying "This cause is clearly less worthy than that one." It's not like donating money for animal shelters and donating money for starving children is mutually exclusive, or else we should all choose the one worthiest cause in the world and donate money only to that one until the problem goes away.

Still, I'm having a hard time seeing a fan fiction site as a charitable cause.

I might feel differently if they really were fulfilling their educational mission ... to help writers improve their writing skills. But it's not like they are running workshops or online classes. They haven't even updated their homepage in forever.

(Yeah, I know, that's because they've got no money. But with $25K, are we really going to see FA suddenly become a hotbed community for aspiring young writers?)

ETA: They got wanked by people thinking the same thing, but less charitably.

ETA 2: Now I am regretting saying anything. I didn't realize the whole damn Internet was going to explode with rage at Fiction Alley. C'mon, people. Someone at one of the wank threads said "This is the most disgusting thing I have ever seen in my forty-three years on the planet." Seriously? Seriously?

One of the problems in describing what wizards wear is that all we really get in the series is "robes." Which apparently look mostly like dresses. And there's lots of speculation about whether or not they wear underwear under their robes, or whether students wear "normal" clothing under them, etc. But you can only dress robes up so many different ways, whether or not they're actually dress-like. However, humans tend to like fashion (even guys, even white-bearded old men, even if they don't happen to be gay). I can't imagine everyone in the wizarding world goes around wearing nothing but various colors and styles of robes their entire lives, yet remains so ignorant of Muggle fashions that we see a wizard in GoF trying to dress like a Muggle by putting on a nightgown, and unaware that he's wearing women's clothing.

I've tried to insert a little sartorial variety in Alexandra Quick, mostly by including a lot of different cultures with their own style of dress (and having Alexandra make disparaging remarks about "formal robe == dress"), but I often still feel like I'm just throwing leather or lace over a robe.

So I'm reading an amusing essay at sci-fi site io9 about how Sex and the City 2 is actually a science fiction movie, and they post this image:



Does that look like a witches' fashion show or what? I can totally see Alex's sisters dressing up like that for a night out on the town.

Almost makes me want to see the movie.

Okay, not really. But I'll bet the filmmakers for DH could get a lot of inspiration from it!

Seriously, I didn't expect Anna to be the number one choice!

Just in case I didn't make it clear enough, that poll was totally tongue-in-cheek. I don't actually care what anyone else wants, because I've already decided the trajectory of Alexandra's love life (such as it may or may not be).

Yes, I know you didn't think you were actually voting on what I should write. But obviously, with all the predictions people have made (about Alexandra's love life and everything else), some of you are bound to find out you were right (or at least close). So enjoy your "Aha!" moment when it comes. ;)

Now, on a semi-serious note, I will make the following observations, which you can take as you will. These are really not meant to be Big Meaningful Hints about what will happen with Alexandra specifically, so if you read more into them than you should, that's your fault. :P It's just more rambling about how I think, which may tell you something about what is or is not likely to happen in my stories.

1. Very few people end up marrying the first person they ever date. Or the second or third or even fifth. Nowadays, most people don't even end up marrying the first person they have sex with (or the second or third or even fifth).

2. Many teenagers have multiple relationships before they are eighteen. I would say nowadays this is the norm, rather than the exception. Anyone who subscribes to the Slut!Ginny theory because she (gasp!) had more than one boyfriend should GDIAF. Likewise, what the hell is with all the Cho and Lavender hate?

3. I don't believe in "soul mates," and I certainly don't believe anyone meets their "soul mate" at age eleven.

4. That said, while the "everyone marries their high school sweetheart" theme of Harry Potter was a bit annoying, I didn't think it was actually that unrealistic, given that for most people in the British wizarding world, the vast majority of people in your dating pool are going to be people you went to school with. The American wizarding world is somewhat more diverse, but it's still relatively small, so even there, marrying a school sweetheart is probably more common than in the Muggle world.

5. One of my grievances with how Rowling ended her series was that the entire seven book series was essentially a vehicle to deliver her predestined happily-ever-after ending. All that world-building, all those social issues, two wars against a Dark Lord? That was just to get Harry and Ginny together. You may infer from my tone here that I don't like that kind of storytelling and I was very let down by it. This is not to say that I am necessarily a better storyteller than Rowling, or that I don't like love stories (or romantic subplots, at least), or that I hate happy endings, but I'm not writing a shipping story. There will be ships, but they're not the point of the story.

6. Not everyone has to get married. Not everyone should get married.

7. I think that most kids know pretty early on whether they like boys or girls (or occasionally, both or neither), but some have more ambivalent (or ambiguous) feelings that may not be resolved until adulthood (if ever).

8. I use too many parentheticals when I ramble.