The facts, for those who care to know them

[inverarity]

I banned fpb because of his persistent, abusive behavior on my LJ, not because of anything he posted elsewhere.

I haven't done anything to prevent him from reading my posts. I don't even know how I could do that. My journal is completely open; I have never posted anything friends-locked. I have also never deleted anyone's comments, with the exception of spammers. I have screened a very small number that were over-the-top abuse and/or trolling (or, in one instance, an enormous wall of text copy&pasted from his own LJ, for which I provided a link instead).

If banned users are now restricted from reading posts on an LJ from which they have been banned, that's a change LiveJournal has made. The banned user FAQ says nothing about banned users being unable to lurk. (It seems like it would be a silly change for LJ to make since you could cirmcumvent it simply by browsing without signing in to your LJ account.)

As for his whining that I won't answer him, there is an old Korean saying: When I walk around a pile of shit, it's not because I'm afraid of it.

I have never written anything that wasn't the truth as I see it. I may be wrong, I may even be an asshole, but I don't lie.

People are free to read what I've written and read what he's written and make up their own minds. I am happy to answer reasonable questions from people who are not fpb* if they really want clarification about any of my words.

* I'd answer reasonable questions from fpb but he's never written anything reasonable when he disagrees with meanyone.


ETA: Dude, the comment you're claiming I "deleted afterward"? It's still there -- I can see it. It's screened. You have the power to screen, unscreen, or delete it, but I did not. Jeebus, not only can't you see entries on my LJ, but apparently you can't even see entries on your own? Learn how to use the Internet before going into hysterics and accusing other people of lying.

As for when I banned you, I told you the exact moment I banned you, which happened during another one of your tirades on my LJ. This isn't a "he said/he said" situation, this is a situation where proof that everything you're saying is exactly the opposite of the truth is right there to be read by anyone.

Comments

re:

[wodcdre.livejournal.com]

I always wondered why you put up with all his insidious accusations for so long. I personally didn't have any beefs with him, but the trolling that went on was quite rediculous. Anyway, It'll be good to (not) see anymore hostile posts from him on here. :-)

[anthonyjfuchs.livejournal.com]

My, my, my, but he does seem to have quite the throbbing hate-boner for you.

I imagine that Martha Stout's book has a few suggestions concerning how to deal with someone of Fabio's...caliber.

[inverarity.livejournal.com]

I don't think he's a sociopath. I do think he's mentally ill, which is why I am clenching my teeth and being as measured and judicious as I can be. When people lie about me I find it very, very hard not to respond.

[anthonyjfuchs.livejournal.com]

The impulse to engage rarely listens to the rational understanding that engagement will yield no benefit. But I give you credit for setting your bar for response quite higher than mine. Hell: I usually find it very, very hard not to respond if someone just disagrees with me without at least a halfway decent reason.

You may be right that he's not a sociopath. But I wouldn't rule it out.

[ardys-the-ghoul.livejournal.com]

I'm curious as to what he did/said that finally made you decide to ban him.

I've seen a few of his comments around, and I think I may even have had a slight altercation with him once--he struck me as abrasive, and hard-headed as far as differing opinions go (I don't mind when people disagree with my opinions, but I do mind when they act like I'm stupid for having said opinions), but not necessarily ban-worthy.

Then again, I don't make a point to read every comment and I'm sure I've missed most of this particular episode.

The banning

[inverarity.livejournal.com]

It wasn't so much a single comment that went beyond the pale, but his behavior over a period of years. The thread that was the straw that broke the camel's back (and the banning) is here (http://inverarity.livejournal.com/91506.html?thread=632946#t632946).

fpb is the sort of person who will walk into your living room, drop his pants and shit on your carpet, and then scream at you that it's your fault.

Re: The banning

[ardys-the-ghoul.livejournal.com]

God, stuff like that gives me a headache. I don't blame you at all for getting sick of that insanity.

I am a firm believer that two people can agree to disagree about things while remaining perfectly civil--I find people who seem to take opinions that don't line up with theirs as a personally affront...well, it's distressing to say the least. This fellow seems to be just that sort of person; if you don't agree with him, he construes it as a personal insult.

And this guy is Catholic? I don't know what the Catholics are like in his neck of the woods, but here in the Midwest US they're a relatively inocuous bunch. I'm Agnostic myself, but the majority of my mom's family is Catholic, and I live in a town with a large Catholic population. I generally relate this guy's...I don't know, proselytizing? self-righteousness?...with the Fundamentalist and/or Evangelist crowd.

I was tempted before to ask him, "Why are you so mean?" or a variation along the lines of, "What crawled up your tailpipe and died?" but I thought better of it.

I am thinking that some kind of mental illness may be playing a role here--his behavior just seems too extreme not to be fueled by some kind of psychosis. I would suggest Bipolar Disorder (I have seen him discuss things like a perfectly sane human being before, though not recently); I'm no expert, but I do know someone who is Bipolar, and there are similarities.

Re: The banning

[inverarity.livejournal.com]

Yes, he can be very reasonable, even pleasant, which is one reason I put up with him for so long. Unfortunately, he turns into a vicious beast without warning, and he does it with anyone. (I am but the latest in a long, long string of "friends" he abuses in this manner.)

He's now writing Jesus fan fiction about how I'm going to go to hell for ignoring him.

So, do I seriously suspect mental illness? Yes. OTOH, some people are just uncivilized assholes. The difference is academic since even if he does have a mental illness, there's no chance he'll ever seek help for it, or entertain the possibility that anything about his behavior is problematic.

Re: The banning

[ravenstar84.livejournal.com]

Holy shit, I missed out on all that. Honestly, I'm surprised you didn't ban him a long time ago back when I saw him arguing here with winterfox. Everything he posts looks like one big ball of pretentious spam.

Re: The banning

[inverarity.livejournal.com]

His spat with winterfox was relatively mild compared to all the other times he's shit all over a thread.

Yes, he's a trainwreck. And my pity for him is exhausted.

[shinygobonkers.livejournal.com]

i think that some people are just...unable to see the world from anything but their narrow perspective, unable to comprehend the idea that they are just *wrong* so they twist everything so that it reflects and agrees how they want to see things, so that they are always right, etc. best you can do is ignore their BS...
also, i agree, you've always been quite nice/measured/reasonable in your responses, even when his posts got quite out of hand...

[tealterror0.livejournal.com]

Honestly, I actually had a fun time "arguing" with fpb, but I'm the kind that enjoys getting down in the mud with someone and slugging it out (er, rhetorically), even if it does leave me feeling vaguely dirty afterwards. I think the core problem with fpb isn't that he engages in insult-slinging contests--that's a venerable pastime, especially on the internet--but that he takes the entire thing way way way too seriously.

All that said, while I understand your temptation to write this post, I can't imagine it'll help. TBQH, the only people who care about the Inverarity/fpb feud are Inverarity and fpb, and nothing you do (nothing anyone could possibly do) will convince fpb he's wrong. If anything, this'll only encourage him. I imagine you know that already, but still, felt it had to be said.

[inverarity.livejournal.com]

Yes, I know. Writing this post was clearly me succumbing to temptation, and I hate this kind of drama where two bloggers starting blogging at each other in a blogwar no one else cares about. I'm sure most of my flist would rather I stick to reviews and fan fic. Hopefully you can forgive me going off-course every once in a while.

That said, my objective was not to convince fpb he's wrong; there aren't words in this world to do that. As I said to anthonyjfuchs, while I can ignore people spouting nonsense and trolling, people telling bald-faced lies about me and claiming I have said and done things I have not isn't something I can let go as easily.

Also, when fpb rants about me, I usually see a few lurkers from his flist coming over here to see what he's talking about, so in this instance, I had to speak up and say, "Yes, I know he said that, and no, it's not true, and you can ask me about it if you want."

And yes, I realize that admitting this introduces the likelihood that he'll just keep making shit up about me to try to get me to respond. *sigh*

[anthonyjfuchs.livejournal.com]

I have no room to talk about ignoring the Nitwit.

I went on for over eleven-hundred words, and he didn't even lie about me.

[ardys-the-ghoul.livejournal.com]

he takes the entire thing way way way too seriously.

Along with an apparent inability to recognize sarcasm or exaggeration for the sake of humor (I find this incomprehensible--I have Asperger's, and even I can recognize sarcasm).

[inverarity.livejournal.com]

No, he has no ability to grasp nuance, and absolutely no sense of humor about himself.

[ardys-the-ghoul.livejournal.com]

I always say one should never take oneself too seriously.

This is a prime example of why one should not--one ends up looking like a complete jackass.

[tealterror0.livejournal.com]

I think that's just an extension of his inability, or unwillingness, to understand other people in the first place. Every time I've seen him "debate," he never actually attempts to understand the other person's position, and instead just immediately assumes the absolute worst about them--which I imagine is why he turns to the insult so quickly.

While it could be mental illness, I honestly doubt it. I suspect it's just your ordinary, run-of-the-mill asshattery.

And, you know, I have more than a bit of that in myself, so I sympathize. If, as Inverarity said, he had a sense of humor about himself, he'd be a far more pleasant person all around.

But that's the way it goes sometimes, for better or (usually) for worse.

[ardys-the-ghoul.livejournal.com]

Originally, I thought maybe English wasn't his first language and the problem was a language barrier. Apparently, though, that isn't the case.

[kerneyhead.livejournal.com]

What he does have I suspect is untreated Aspergers. I have it and I walked into situations and generally came off as a jerk for years and did not understand peoples reactions until my family revealed to me at 25 that 'Oh yeah, we knew about it since you were 5-6, but we assumed it was a mistake or you would grow out of it and if we showed enough love, it wouldn't be a problem.

They were wrong and I don't think I'll ever quite forgive my parents for that. At the same time in my mid twenties I came off as an arrogant ass who couldn't grasp other people, very much like FBP. I then spent years looking for answers.

FBP strikes me as someone whose pride and arrogance won't let him admit he has a problem. At times I couldn't help but despise him. Still, I pity him.

[inverarity.livejournal.com]

I had never considered Aspergers before, but that seems plausible also.

I think it's unlikely that he will ever seek help or change.

[anyareine.livejournal.com]

Though you probably won't really care, just want to say that I hope you don't take the jerk too seriously. I know how this sort of drama can muddle up your thoughts for a time- it's annoying. I'm glad that you banned him. I have been lurking/posting on your LJ for a while now, and I never actually understood why you put up with him.

Hope your thoughts are nice and peaceful now. And I'm looking forward to anything you write, fanfiction, reviews or otherwise. :)

[yael-heiman.livejournal.com]

I had a friend who had a very similar experience. The problem was that it wasn't over the internet--it was with a college professor.

Professor: Evolution is evil and wrong and leads to eugenics and Social Darwinism.
Friend: Actually, most Darwinists, including Darwin himself, were against Social Darwinism.
Professor: *proceeds to yell at my friend*

It's amazing how easy it is to get a PhD nowadays...